I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. I was always the chubby girl. Always the fat friend. The girl who the guys were nice to and friends with but never wanted to date. I was never able to share clothes with my friends because they wouldn't fit. I missed out on so much as I got older because of my weight. I didn't go to any school dances with a date. I always went with friends. I didn't go to my prom and I didn't have a traditional wedding because I didn't want to be the fat bride in a white wedding dress. My best friend is getting married next year and I am scared to death. She is going to want me to be up there with her, all I can think about is not being able to fit in the dress, being an embarrassment because I am the biggest girl there or not even going and supporting her because I am too ashamed of how I look. The last few years I have felt that maybe I am destined to be this way. When I think about losing weight all I can think about is how far I have to go. Also, may sound superficial and unimportant but I fear that if I do lose this weight that I will look worse than I do now. I have so much to lose and there will no doubt be extra skin and flab and I am in no position to afford plastic surgery to correct it. I know that I need to look past the negative and focus on the positive. I need to take it one minute at a time and make short term goals that are attainable.
On January 1st, 2010 I weighed in at 373.2. The heaviest I have EVER been. That is going to change. I CAN'T live this way anymore. I need to change for my family and myself. My first goal is a hard one, but I feel like I can do it. I need the challenge. I need something short term to work towards. My first goal is to lose 25 lbs by February 1st 2010. It will be hard, I may struggle but I am confident I will succeed. This is a life or death decision that I have to make. Consequences of the wrong decision are fatal, however rewards from choosing the right decision will out weigh any struggles that I have faced to get to that point.
This is the beginning of what will be a lifelong journey. I have so much to change... the physical, the mental, and my priorities. Thank you for reading and following me in my journey to a happier, healthier ME!
"Dare to be remarkable."- Jane Gentry
~ Shannon
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Shannon........small steps are great! Just don't beat yourself up if you stumble or fall off, just pick yourself up and get back to it! I know you can do this, willpower and making the right choices is what it takes! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteyou have to focus on the short term rather then the long term to gain any chance of not failing. I understand the need to look to the future, but lets face it that next to impossible to do, we are not time travelers lol. I know you can do this, we can do this together, you are in a great network of positive people who go through the same struggles you are everyday. You took the first step by putting yourself out there for the world to see, there is no greater challenge then that! You get an AAAA++++ for today, now lets see what tomorrow brings! :)
ReplyDelete